A shocking turn of events in Grouchland leaves Autumn stupefied
A few weeks ago my parents bought Autumn the DVD of The Adventures of Elmo in Grouchland. Since that day, we’ve watched the movie approximately fifty thousand times, give or take a viewing or two. The girl is absolutely obsessed with Elmo and he seems to be the only thing of late that preoccupies her to the point that she acts like a civilized human being.
My mother is thrilled with Autumn’s Elmo enthusiasm and has added two more Elmo DVDs, a small stuffed Elmo and numerous Elmo books to our ever-growing Elmo collection. Our basement has become Elmopalooza and most nights when the weather prevents us from going to the playground we find ourselves in front of the TV watching Elmo dance and sing his way through Grouchland or an episode of Sesame Street we recorded earlier that day.
At first, I too thought the Elmo obsession was cute. I’d never seen Autumn so enthralled with anything real or imagined before. I have since formed the opinion that Elmo has turned my child into muppet-obsessed crack baby. When I pick her up from daycare in the evening, Autumn runs to the door, tugs on the doorknob and cries, “Ro-ro! Ro-ro!” This is her way of saying, “Woman, get your ass in the car and get me home. Elmo’s waiting!”
I guess things could be worse. In a few years her attentions will shift to the likes of those whorish Bratz dolls and we’ll be subjected to repeated viewings of “Hannah Montana.” At least on Sesame Street they have better talent. Where else can you see Nathan Lane sing and dance with The Oinker Sisters?
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