I had a really bad night with Autumn last week. It was Thursday, Nathan’s bowling night and my one (thank God!) night home alone with her. Would. Not. Cooperate. At. All. Whatever demands I had were met with kicks and screams and a hearty “NO!” at every turn. It really broke me and I whined to some co-workers the next day about how difficult she’s getting. Someone suggested I read The Strong-Willed Child by James Dobson. I may still do that, but right now I’m looking for more…immediate measures to cope with the stress. Like pawning her off on her grandparents for an evening so daddy and I can go mattress shopping. Seriously, that was heaven and we stopped off for a cup of coffee on the way home. I wanted to stay in the cafe and sip in front of the fire. Nathan opted for gulp and go, damn him.
One of the things I’ve had to get used to with this girl is that she now remembers things. Nathan jokes that she’s like the Velociraptors in Jurassic Park, testing the defenses for weaknesses and planning her attacks with cunning accuracy. The other night I had her on my lap while we sat at the kitchen table. I was feeding her the remainder of the meal she had so far ignored, and as she sat there, she started looking at the pictures on the wall and telling me who everyone was. She pointed to the picture of herself when she was six months old.
“That’s Autumn,” she said,
“Yes,” I replied, “that’s Autumn when she used to be nice.”
I thought nothing of this and even told my mom about it, hoping for a laugh and only getting a funny little chuckle that suggested I’m not as clever as I think I am.
Wouldn’t you know, the next night we’re again sitting at the table and naming off who’s who on the wall when she points to the same picture and says, “That’s Autumn nice.”
Slice. Like a talon through my intestines, that child nearly made my guts spill out onto the floor.
Um, well, at least I know she is listening to some of what I say.
{ 2 comments }
They say things like that to make us crazy with guilt. Don’t fall for it!
As for her rotten behavior – believe me, you’ll be dealing with this attitude for quite a while! Mine are teenagers and I’ve had quite an afternoon with the two of them!
The strong willed child is an excellent read! We found that we had to present a united front – even when Dad wasn’t home, he backed me up. He would talk with them about their behavior — which he still does — after the fact. Basically, you cannot ever let her see you sweat. You are in charge. You are cool. You are “the mom”! No matter how much crap she gives you, you must never back down. If you make a decision – even one as simple as it is time for bed — you have to stick to it. Have you considered time out or the naughty chair? It works!! I used it for back talk, nasty attitudes, rotten manners, hitting… you name it.
Best of luck to you!!
xo
LBC
I wish I could give you advice, but we’re in the same boat! Good luck and let me know if you find something that works!
Comments on this entry are closed.