Voyeur

Nathan has been reading my blog. I’m not sure how I feel about this. I originally gave my husband the link to my blog so that he could read the first couple of posts. I had no idea he would continue reading.

The other day, I caught him reading my last post and the one before that. Actually I didn’t “catch” him so much as turn my head as he was sitting right next to me. “I can’t believe you’re still reading that,” I said.

“I like to keep up on what’s going on with you and what you’re thinking. You’re not exactly an open book.”

Excuse me, but if the two of us were books, I would be the book with the dog-eared pages and the frayed cover. I would be the book you wouldn’t get squat for if you tried to sell it back at the end of the semester. Nathan would be the book with the shiny cover and crisp pages; the book that cracked at the spine as if every time it was opened up was the first time ever.

I was intrigued by his curiosity but also a little insulted. “Whenever I try to talk to you about stuff like this you just zone out.”

“Well this is different,” he said. “I get to read at my leisure and then think about what you wrote. This is good! We’re communicating.”

“No we’re not,” I countered, “I’m communicating. This is a one way street! Why don’t you start a blog so I can read what you’re thinking?”

Nathan scoffed at the thought of starting his own blog. What would he have to say, anyway? I teased him with a verbal satire of what his blog would entail. “Monday: ‘I’m horny.’ Tuesday: ‘Still horny.’ Wednesday: ‘I need sex.’” We had a good laugh about that one.

That’s the good thing about our relationship. We can laugh at ourselves and each other. I know I was selling Nathan short by implying that he would have nothing to contribute to a blog other than lamenting his neglected libido. Just as I am a complex woman, my husband is a complex man. He’s a big goofball but also a sensitive, compassionate man who shares my love of cartoons and sushi.

But once in awhile I’d like him to tell me what he’s thinking.

So, Nathan, tell me what you’re thinking. The comments section is at the bottom of this post.